Теперь основной язык блога — английский, «Белая Русская Магия» продолжит выходить на русском, а будущие продукты по возможности будут переводиться.

Yesterday, I took stock of the results of my podcast, White Russian Magic. I started the podcast eight months ago. Since then, I've recorded 11 episodes, published 8 of them, gained 270 subscribers, and accumulated just over 10,000 views... Meanwhile, even one of my less successful Instagram Reels gets 10,000 views. But things aren't that simple with Instagram either. Since the war began, I haven't really grown as a blogger. I've lost part of my audience and haven't managed to build a new one. I think this is because I've never really focused on PR, marketing, or promotion. I've always treated my blog as an extension of myself. As a place where I could share my thoughts or my visual art. If it weren't for a series of fortunate circumstances, you probably wouldn't even know about my blog. So whatever modest online presence I've managed to build has never been the result of consistent, systematic work. It has largely been the result of chance. All I ever did was share whatever was happening in my life whenever I felt inspired. I almost never did anything consistently. On the one hand, my blog was a refuge from the noise and demands of everyday life, a place where I could share my creative work. On the other hand, it was also my vulnerable spot. Everything I did (apart from my work on erotic platforms) was unsystematic, driven by creativity and inspiration rather than commercial considerations. It was never carefully planned or strategically developed. I used to think that was my strength. But the market seems to be telling me otherwise. After all these years, I'm still someone who has never accepted advertising or monetized her blog, and I have very little tangible growth to show for it. Again, I'm not talking about my erotic project, because that's where I focused most of my attention over the past few years. But my erotic art eventually became a business. And the very thing I once loved about it turned into a commercial trap. Now I find myself facing a difficult choice: shut down all my blogs, focus on business, and never open Instagram or Telegram again. Or turn my creative projects into strictly commercial ventures, most likely in English, since the most engaged part of my audience — the people who are genuinely interested in what I do — doesn't speak Russian. These thoughts make me deeply sad. But when I weigh the emotional energy and money I invest in my Russian-language projects against what they bring back, I realize that what I'm doing simply isn't enough. I would have to work much harder, publish more frequently, build a team, and take on even more responsibility. Am I ready for that? No. I don't want to run a never-ending marathon. Perhaps I'm now facing one of the most difficult creative questions of my life: where should I direct my time, energy, and attention? Maybe there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to let go of what isn't working and devote your time to what truly needs it.