When a survey is truly anonymous and no one is standing nearby to overhear, people finally say what they actually think — not what is socially desirable. This is why the new data from VCIOM — Russia’s largest state-backed public opinion research center — looks far more credible than any moralizing public statements. According to the poll, almost 40% of Russian women openly admitted: “yes, I have cheated or am currently cheating in a relationship or marriage.”
This isn’t the sensational “every second woman” figure that circulated earlier from PoFR — an online research group whose samples were heavily skewed toward dating-app users. But “every third woman with a wedding ring isn’t opposed to cheating” comes from Russia’s official nationwide sociological institute, based on a broad and representative sample.
And this pattern is not unique to Russia. International studies show the same tendencies. According to Women’s Health, 46% of respondents had relationships with already-attached partners or entered an affair while being in a relationship themselves. In a major cross-cultural survey by psychologist David Schmitt, 10–15% of all romantic relationships worldwide begin as “partner poaching.”
Psychologists explain this without melodrama: it’s the “pre-validated mate” effect. A man praised by another woman — especially a close friend — is subconsciously perceived as higher-value. That’s why confessions often sound identical: “My friend advertised him too well — I wanted to try,” “stolen fruit tastes sweeter,” “my self-esteem spiked — her treasure is now mine,” “he complained about domestic life, I was just supportive,” “I took the high-quality option conveniently within reach.”
Sociologists analyzing Russian social media, online forums, and women’s group chats only reinforce these findings: genuine confessions appear by the hundreds, and obviously fabricated or AI-generated stories were filtered out by the researchers.
But an even more revealing part of the picture lies in the mutual complaints of men and women — and these grievances have barely changed since 2023.
Women complain about:
• lack of money or a partner’s low income,
• regular drinking or “beer culture,”
• the sudden appearance of a beer belly,
• sexual dissatisfaction (including size — even if it was fine before?),
• boredom in the bedroom,
• doubts about the man’s ability to “step in, fight, protect,”
• and constant scrolling on gadgets.
Men respond with mirror-image complaints:
• the wife or girlfriend gained weight — after marriage, childbirth, or becoming a homemaker,
• endless spending on online marketplaces,
• obsession with trashy reality shows and dramas,
• needing an hour to get ready “as if for a royal palace,”
• and enjoying nights out drinking with friends.
No morals or advice here. What starts like the famous “distracted boyfriend” meme usually ends the same way statistically: in 52% of such situations, the “wheel of life” eventually crushes someone in the love triangle… and then rolls on, as always.
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