Телеграм канал 'dark english humor'

dark english humor


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Найдено 128 постов

If there are 10 apples on the table and Jamal steals 3

What colour is Jamal?

#racism
Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come. And then I wait for the next bus.

#sexism
Mum not mom

Colour not color

Classroom not shooting range

#other
I think this year's Fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined

#other
I think it's interesting how people sleep differently.

I usually sleep on my back, my brother sleeps on his stomach, and my ex sleeps with half of this town.

#sexandshit
Why did the slave go to college?

So he could pickup his Master's degree.

#racism
Tell a girl she's beautiful once and she won't believe you. Tell a girl she's fat once and she'll always remember it.

That's because elephants never forget.

#other
Why is Dark spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can’t C in the Dark

#wordplay
My son has just asked me why his friends Aziz and Tariq didn't get any Christmas presents off Santa.

So I told him, "Son, you're 10 years old now and you're old enough to know the truth about Santa... He fucking hates Muslims".

#racism
NASA: First person on Mars could be a woman.

So when the men arrive, dinner will be ready.

#sexism
You don't need to vaccinate your kids. Only the ones you want to keep.

#other
Isn't it funny how at school they've replaced blackboards with whiteboards because they work better?

#racism
I just donated £50 to an LGBT group

I really hope it helps them find a cure.

#other
To the person who stole my antidepressants I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW!

#other
I call my wife Bambi.

She thinks its because she's cute with big brown eyes.

Actually it's because I would like someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

#other
Do twins ever realise that one of them was unplanned?

#other
What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday?

Don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

#illness
I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. Everyone came. You should have seen her face.

#wordplay
I like underground music by artistes such as Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley, and any other who is currently underground.

#wordplay
My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food

Найдено 128 постов