Телеграм канал 'dark english humor'

dark english humor

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Найдено 128 постов

If there are 10 apples on the table and Jamal steals 3

What colour is Jamal?

Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come. And then I wait for the next bus.

Mum not mom

Colour not color

Classroom not shooting range

I think this year's Fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined

I think it's interesting how people sleep differently.

I usually sleep on my back, my brother sleeps on his stomach, and my ex sleeps with half of this town.

Why did the slave go to college?

So he could pickup his Master's degree.

Tell a girl she's beautiful once and she won't believe you. Tell a girl she's fat once and she'll always remember it.

That's because elephants never forget.

Why is Dark spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can’t C in the Dark

My son has just asked me why his friends Aziz and Tariq didn't get any Christmas presents off Santa.

So I told him, "Son, you're 10 years old now and you're old enough to know the truth about Santa... He fucking hates Muslims".

NASA: First person on Mars could be a woman.

So when the men arrive, dinner will be ready.

You don't need to vaccinate your kids. Only the ones you want to keep.

Isn't it funny how at school they've replaced blackboards with whiteboards because they work better?

I just donated £50 to an LGBT group

I really hope it helps them find a cure.

To the person who stole my antidepressants I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW!

I call my wife Bambi.

She thinks its because she's cute with big brown eyes.

Actually it's because I would like someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle

Do twins ever realise that one of them was unplanned?

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday?

Don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. Everyone came. You should have seen her face.

I like underground music by artistes such as Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley, and any other who is currently underground.

My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food

Найдено 128 постов